Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize