I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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