Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I puked a lego.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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