the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
