don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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