The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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