Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
