Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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