if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pappa wants mamma naked
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
