when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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