He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
