Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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