ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
