I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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