I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
