I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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