just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
