I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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