At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
