the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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