just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
