my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
