Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
