If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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