she woke up with a sticky ear
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
