FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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