i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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