Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
