this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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