just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
