Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
