Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
