I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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