Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
