the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
that is very illegal...i love you.
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