Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
