I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
