He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
