I want to stick my p in your. b.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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