I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize