3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
