fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
