That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
