omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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