Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My vagina is very pro this idea
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize