I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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