the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
