hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize