I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
