wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize