They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
