It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
