Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
