if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
