Kiss
Puke
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you win again, gameday.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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