Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
