brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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