I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
