Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
