She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
