Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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