8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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