that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What changed your mind?
Being sober
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
