we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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