Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
