i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
