Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
