Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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