walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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